Massive Mayhem
by uflesh940
Summary: If everyone was slightly more power-hungry, then what would it mean for Harry? Join Harry in his first year as he battles Mundungus Fletcher, Draco, Professor McGonagall, and Voldemort alongside Hermione and Proffesor Quirrel. ][ Harry pointed his blood-stained shovel at Hagrid threateningly. "This never happened." Hagrid paled.
1. Chapter 1

Harry had a rather idyllic childhood. He spent most of his time in his cupboard. Not out of obligation, but out of choice. He hated the Dursleys, and the Dursleys hated him, so it was only natural. He would come out to get his meals or go to school, but he spent most of his early life drawing on the cupboard walls. The Dursleys were annoyed at first, but after a while, they just showed it to friends as proof of Harry's "vandalistic tendencies".

Harry's skill with drawing gradually improved, until one day, in a moment of intense boredom, a bird drawn on one of the walls came alive. Not in the traditional sense – the bird simply began moving around, gliding on the endless white walls riddled with other drawings. The bird couldn't make sounds, and it couldn't leave the wall, but it could create a speech bubble above it's head, with various text which Harry later discovered to be various bird calls written in English. The bird moved in ordinance to Harry's whims, and Harry suddenly found that he could move the bird to any solid surface in the neighborhood.

Eventually, however, Harry became bored with the bird, and erased it. The idea, however, remained, and the next morning he drew a tiny human form on the wall. The human wandered around the house during the day, while telling Harry via speech bubble what people in the neighborhood talked about or what his relatives had been doing at night. Harry drew hundreds on human figures, just about the size of his palm. These wandered across Surrey, gathering information. In a world where information was power, Harry had both.

As Harry's power grew, his drawings began interacting with the world in strange and subtle ways. Harry drew spikes on the bottom of his shoes, and found his traction greatly improved. A drawn figure could pick up a cell phone and call a real phone. A drawn figure once punched the glass aquarium at school and created a spiderweb of real cracks, from which water began to leak. Drawn figures did his homework. Harry contented himself with staying in his cupboard and did nothing but watch as the little guys crawled through the cracks in the walls, and told (speech-bubbled) fascinating stories of the outside world.

As Harry was engaged in his spy network, he began spending less time inside the house, and finishing his meals earlier. Thus, Harry was already in his cupboard as his uncle sent Dudley to get the mail, and he missed the whitening of this Aunts face as she read a certain Hogwarts letter. Ironically, Harry's hunger for information left him without any figures spying on the relatively boring Dursleys, causing him to remain ignorant of the wizarding world for the time being.

* * *

Dudley stared as his parents threw a huge fuss over the letter. Dudley could've cared less. His father was probably going to rant about taxes or his job, or something like that. Needless to say, Dudley's interest spiked as his parents walked into another room, told him to stay at the table, and locked the door. The boy wondered if his parents really expected him to follow their directions. Probably. The naivety of the elder Dursleys never ceased to surprise Dudley. Regardless of his parents thoughts, Dudley pressed his ear against the lock hole, and learned something surprising about his cousin. boring Dursleys, causing him to remain ignorant of the wizarding world for the time being.


	2. Chapter 2

Dudley was horrified to learn that Harry was a wizard. Things suddenly made both a lot more and a lot less sense at the same time. That explained why Harry was so different… But if Harry really had so much power, then why did he just spend all of his time in that closet of his? As Dudley gradually explored that line of thought, he suddenly realized something. Harry didn't deserve to have magic. _He_ deserved to have magic. It was so unfair. Why did Harry have so much power, while he had none? He could certainly put it to better use than Harry did. Then, a thought came to Dudley's mind. What if there was a spell or potion or something to give him magic? No, thought Dudley. If there was a spell like that he would find it, and if there wasn't, then he would make one himself. Now, how did one get in contact with witches and wizards? He had heard Petunia mention a leaky cauldron, or something of that kind.

* * *

Dudley wandered through Diagon Ally. Holy crap! This was awesome! He squeezed down his jealousy of Harry. He hadn't come down here to look around: he had a job to do. Dudley walked into a bookstore.

"Hello, do you have any books on how to turn someone into a wizard?"

"Sorry," said an aging clerk, "but why on earth would anyone want to turn a muggle into a wizard? I doubt anyone has really put much thought into it – wizards don't really pay attention to muggles much."

Dudley's heart sank. "So has anyone tried something of that kind before?"

The clerk shrugged. "I mean, I reckon you could probably repurpose a dark power-boosting ritual for that purpose, but dark rituals of that kind would require-" and here the clerk leaned closer, and spoke more quietly, "-a human sacrifice."

Dudley blanched. He couldn't kill a fellow human.

The clerk, not noticing Dudley's look continued. "Of course, you would have to go to Knockturn Alley for that kind of information. We don't sell books about power boosting rituals here, of course."

Dudley left the shop, and after that, Diagon alley, without saying anything.

* * *

He was back the next day. The thought of power was too much to resist.


	3. Chapter 3

Mundungus was giddy with excitement. He did not, contrary to what he told some people, deal primarily in the trade of goods. He primarily traded in information. And here was a kid with the most valuable piece of information on the black market. Namely: the location of Harry Potter. He handed the kid the power boosting ritual text he had. Honestly, this one was pretty common, and he had several copies on him, just in case a good occasion to sell them arose. Like this one.

The kid left, looking extraordinarily pale, though Mundungus was too deep in his fantasies of selling information to be bothered. There was a ridiculously large amount of money for anyone that managed to kill Harry Potter waiting at for anyone who got lucky.

Suddenly, Mundungus had a thought. What if, instead of selling the information, he instead went after the boy himself. He would make four times as much money, at least. The size of the bounty on Potter's head was truly ridiculous. Mundungus smiled and apparated to Private Drive with a loud crack.

* * *

Petunia was inside the living room as there was a loud explosion from the front door. Despite not having anything to do with wizards in over a decade, her mind immediately jumped to that conclusion. They were probably trying to send those awful letters again. They probably would've fled private drive if Harry had had the least bit of interest in the letters. As it was, he had spent all his time in the cupboard, as usual.

Petunia walked into the sitting room, before realizing that there was an actual wizard in front of her. With a wand. And the rubble of her door behind him. The female Dursley took a step backwards, before getting hit by a jet of red light. The man smiled. "Let me make this easy for you. Where is Harry Potter?"

Petunia snarled. As if she would ever give in to the demands of a freak.

The man seemed to detect her mood. "Crucio!"

* * *

Harry looked at the information the frantic figures on the wall were telling him. Oh my. This was bad. The figure was torturing Petunia? For his location? This was exceptionally bad. It seemed like he would have to bring out the big guns. For the first time in years, Harry voluntarily left his closet, and walked towards the room where his uncle would be. Sure enough, Vernon was on the bed, taking his tie off.

"Vernon."

Vernon turned around, before noticing Harry in the doorway. He stared for a second, surprised at seeing his nephew outside of his cupboard for once, before his surprise turned into a frown at seeing his nephew.

Harry pulled out the big guns. "Some dude with a glowing stick is torturing Petunia."

"What?" yelled Vernon.

Dudley poked his head inside the room. "Dad, what's going- Harry?"

Harry gave Dudley a wave. "Hi."

"Dudley, go to your room and lock the door. If anyone who isn't us tries to open your door, climb out the window and run."

Dudley looked worried. "Dad, what's going on?"

Vernon looked at Dudley sadly. "Never you mind. If something goes wrong, remember that me and Petunia love you very-"

Harry coughed, and both male Dursleys glared at him for ruining their romantic moment.

"Uh, Vernon…"

"What is it, boy?"

"Petunia is still being tortured."

Vernon cursed, and shoed a remarkably pale Dudley as he reached for the pistol he had hidden in a drawer beside his bed. When Harry looked as if he might follow Dudley, Vernon grabbed him and pulled him forwards.

"No you don't. You'll have to be backup for is something goes wrong. Or you can at least warn Dudley or something."

Harry looked unhappy with the new turn of events, but he grabbed a frying pan as they passed through the kitchen, much to Vernon's approval.

* * *

Vernon started off the fight by firing his pistol at the wizard. The wizard stopped torturing petunia to raise a magical shield of some sort, causing the bullets to simply bounce off the shield. Unfortunately for Mundungus, his not torturing Petunia meant that she was free to recuperate for a couple seconds.

Vernon and Mundungus stood at an impasse. Vernon couldn't harm Mundungus, unless the later dropped the shield, but Mundungus couldn't harm Vernon either, unless he dropped the shield, which would open up the possibility of Vernon harming him. Naturally, this was interrupted when Petunia slapped Mundungus.

Mundungus, embarrassed at being caught in such a manner, kept his want pointed at the shield while he grabbed a wickedly sharp enchanted knife out of his pocket. Petunia paled, but suddenly, a flying frying pan smashed into the side of Mundungus' head. The shield dropped, and the wizard was instantly pierced by several bullets. As the man collapsed, Petunia grabbed the knife and stabbed it deep into his chest. The man died within seconds, and a silence reigned for a couple seconds after that, when Vernon and Petunia turned towards each other, and began tearfully kissing each other over the bloodied body.

Harry decided to take his leave.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry frowned. He should've known the Dursleys would make him hide the body. The nerve of it all! Perhaps a little revenge was in order. It would be a real shame if the Dursley's neighbors found something new to gossip about. Harry smiled, as he dragged the corpse into the front yard and started to dig a hole. Unfortunately for him, his lack of physical activity made digging a grave rather difficult, and he could barely fit half of the body into the shallow grave when he reached a layer of concrete. Well, he certainly wouldn't let all that work go to waste and just bury the body elsewhere. Harry grabbed his shovel and pressed it against the corpse, before giving it a thrust. The shovel slid through flesh and bones with a series of cracks, and an arm came loose. Harry tossed it in the grave. Maybe he could fit another limb or two in there.

* * *

Hagrid smiled. He could finally meet Harry Potter. Of course, it was worrying that he hadn't answered the letters, but he was sure it would be fine. He walked until he finally saw the house in question. Ah, what people wouldn't give to gaze upon the residency of Harry Potter. When Hagrid looked around, he realized that Harry himself was standing outside. Hagrid smiled and began walking towards Harry, when he suddenly noticed something else. A corpse. Harry Potter was burying a corpse. Hagrid watched in horror as Harry started stuffing a limbless body into a grave, before halfheartedly kicking some dirt over it.

"Hello?"

Hagrid blinked. The boy was talking to him!

"Oh Merlin, Harry Potter! You have your mother's-" That was when Hagrid realized that the boy was still covered in blood. From the grave digging, if it could be called that.

The boy blinked as the large man suddenly fell silent, before realizing exactly which part of the lawn the giant was staring at. Oh dear. He must've been too sloppy, as a bloodied hand was sticking out of the ground.

Harry pointed his blood-stained shovel at Hagrid threateningly. "This never happened."

Hagrid paled.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione looked warily at the strangely dressed lady standing in front of her.

"Has anything… unexplainable every happened around you, when you're angry or afraid?" asked the lady awkwardly.

"No." said Hermione.

* * *

Oh sure, unusual things happened around Hermione all the time. But contrary to what the oddity in front of her was suggesting, this didn't happen when she was angry or scared. Unexplainable things happened to her precisely when she wanted them to happen. In fact, calling them unexplainable would be misleading. She and her parents already had a working explanation. After some thought, they had decided that Hermione was a god.

Naturally, she wasn't omnipotent, but her powers had so far become stronger as she aged. She was simply waiting until she was powerful enough to rule the world.

Angry or afraid? She had never had reason to be, her powers always solved everything for her. What was this crazy old mortal talking about?

She had stopped paying attention to the lady in front of her, so she was, unsurprisingly, rather shocked when the lady turned the table into a mountain lion.

Immediately, Hermione's focus sharpened. Impossible! Another god?

"You're a witch, Hermione."

Hermione was still struggling to accept this new development. But there was one question she had to ask. "How many other …witches… are there?"

"Well," said the other god, "first off, there are also wizards, which are male witches. And there aren't really any unified censuses about this kind of thing, but I would estimate there to be several tens of thousands of magical folk in Britain alone."

Hermione's parents exchanged glances.

Hermione held off the urge to swear. It seemed that she had plenty of competition for her ascension to godhood.

* * *

While shopping for books in that dreadfully dirty shop, Hermione bumped into another figure her age. The figure pointed a …bloody shovel (?) at her, and said "Hagrid, I swear to god, if you tell me one more time how many books I can or cannot buy I will- Oh, sorry about that, who are you?"

"My name is Hermione."

The boy grunted, and continued to look disinterested, before both of them saw a book that interested them. "A guide to power boosting rituals."

The boy got to it, first, but Hermione wrenched it out of his hand. The boy pulled it back. Hermione waved her hand, and the book was pulled from the boy's grasp by an invisible force. He moved to grab it back from her, but was blocked by an invisible wall. They stood facing each other for a second, and Hermione watched in fascination as she could almost see his plans for getting the book back flashing through his emerald eyes. Then, the boy turned, and yelled "Hagrid!"

A massive figure cautiously lumbered over to him. "Yes?"

"Take her book."

"I can't do that for ye, Harry. It's unchivalrous to rob a girl of her books, don't you know tha-"

The boy, Harry, pointed his still bloody shovel at the giant, who visibly shuddered, and looked very conflicted.

"I still can't-"

"Sorry, what was that?" asked Harry, as he ground the shovel against the floor of the shop with his foot, leaving several bloodstains on the floor. "I couldn't hear you, because I was too busy practicing stabbing things with my shovel. Anyway, what were you saying? Something about not doing exactly as I request?"

"I'll do it!" cried Hagrid, as he went for the book in Hermione's hands, apologies shining in his eyes.

Suddenly, the clerk showed up. "What's all the commotion here about-" The clerk than noticed that he was interrupting a face-off between two eleven-year-olds for a book on power boosting rituals.

He sighed. "I'll go get the second copy of the book from the loft."

Everyone visibly relaxed, as he walked off muttering to himself "-just what are they feeding kids these days-".

"Sorry about that," said Harry. "What did you say your name was?"

Hermione smiled. It was never a bad thing to gain allies.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry for the late update. You see, my computer was experiencing technical difficulties, and all my chapters were deleted. I had them backed up on a flash drive, of course, but just as I was about to use it to restore my work, my dog ate my flash drive. My dog died, and the flash drive was ruined. After that, I took some time off to get over my dog's death, but just as I was about to write another chapter, my family went to a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean for vacation. Unfortunately, that island didn't have any WiFi, so I was forced to spend all my time practicing my skiing technique. Anyways, I got back here as quickly as I could, and uploaded this chapter immediately. Hope you enjoy it.**


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